Go big or go home!
If ‘home is where the heart is’, going big has always been my only option. Having faced death at the tender age of twelve, I have an insatiable appetite for life and doing whatever I can to reduce human suffering. Trained as a competitive gymnast with Olympic ambitions since I was five, success has always been the only option.
Sometimes all this passion and drive feels like a curse and all I want to do is ‘go home’.
It took coming to Bali and writing a book to understand that I was Born to Connect. I always thought my purpose was helping others create a positive impact in the world, but actually, underneath that is a longing for authentic human connection; first within myself, then in my relationships and ultimately in all that we create.
Imagine what the world would look like if all our creative expressions were sourced in connection; an internal experience of wholeness.
For decades, I’ve sourced meaning and derived purpose from helping others. And like many, along the way, I’ve externalized my fulfillment. Who am I if I’m not being of service? It’s become so extreme that my experience of pleasure is inseparable from witnessing others flourish. While this may sound beautiful, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
How can I ever be truly happy if I externally source my fulfillment from helping others? These patterns run deep. I know I’m not alone in this, which is why I’m sharing my process so openly.
We are born into a world of artificial scarcity. Engineered into our economy, our primary means of exchange is governed by zero-sum game theory. Within this man-made design, there is a perceived scarcity of resources. This design is hardwired into our being from birth and thus governs how we experience life and thus interact with others.
It is as if we must earn our right to live our lives, to be acknowledged, accepted and to receive love. At least this is how it feels for me at times and how I experience the actions of many people inhabiting Earth at this moment in time. Social media companies have cleverly found a way to monopolize on this delusion of reality, and in doing so, they propagate this perception. Sometimes it feels like we’re all in a race to prove our worthiness. But what if we were always enough.
I truly believe that the secret to life is contentment.
If we only have one life to live, and it can end in the blink of an eye, why not go big? At least that’s how I’ve lived my life…until now. What if ‘going home’ is actually what I’ve always been chasing? What if everything I’ve always been searching for exists within me? What if slowing down reveals the source of this proverbial well? What if all creation was born from stillness?
What if all my dreams come true when I learn to live in the here and now?
I was born into the American Dream of ‘build it and they will come’ and ‘fake it until you make it’. This served my ego well in my adolescent years; building my confidence and guiding me to experiences that invite growth. While I honor my past for molding me into who I am today, this persona no longer serves me.
Today, I dream of slowing down and enjoying the simple things in life, such as playing in a waterfall with my partner, having philosophical conversations with friends over a communal meal, unraveling my thoughts and experiences through creative writing and going to bed early. These experiences nurture my being and reveal beauty in every corner of life.
In finding balance, life is full of paradoxes.
There is nothing wrong with having big dreams and holding a grand vision, but I have found that none of this is possible if I cannot solve for the simple present moment. What can I do with my own two hands? What ingredients do I already have in my kitchen to prepare a meal? I cannot make a great pizza without tasty dough. And it won’t taste good if I bake it out of necessity rather than an expression of joy and desire to share this experience with friends and loved ones.
What’s mine to hold?
For decades, I’ve been a passionate connector; helping friends create thriving organizations by helping them unlock their potential and connect with whatever supports their growth. This is where I feel most alive. While I’ve never derived joy from management, operations and logistics, I intuitively know exactly what needs to be done. This makes me a great guide, as I love advising others as they journey along this path.
Everyone has a role to play.
Surrendered leadership is a concept that has fascinated me these past few years. What if we inverted the pyramid and put the leader at the bottom? What if their role was actually to help others become stars and rise to their potential? What if their job was actually to slow down, to listen and allow; witnessing what wants to emerge from the collective voice and guide that process of creation?
Slowing down to speed up.
When I learn to slow down and simplify my life, I see clearly. I know what is mine to hold and where I thrive. It is in connection, holding space and supporting others in manifesting their dreams.
In doing what I love most, life becomes a celebration. This is the best way I know to honor life. And maybe this inspires others to do what they love most. What if doing good and doing well is actually an expression of celebration…what a life that would be!
If this resonates and you would like to explore working together or learn more, please visit pureproject.org. Through our institute, we offer consulting services, a mastermind group, an online course, apprenticeships and a webinar series for those passionate about building communities that nurture our collective thriving as a human race.